The tantalizing Tattler is always amazed at the food fights in Ypsilanti. From medians on Cross Street to festival names in the parks, Ypsilantians love to fight.

As is often the case, in the heat of the battle we sometimes forget our own history.

Most recently is the dust-up over a Burger King at Water Street. While localvores complain they don’t like chains, the company that owns the Ypsi Burger King, Quality Dining Inc., is one of the largest franchise holders in the world.  QDI has 8,000 employees and $150 million in annual revenue operating over 170 restaurants. QDI also gives hundreds of thousands of dollars a year back to the communities where they have restaurants through grants and fund-raising promotions. Most communities would welcome such a company to town rather than tar and feathering them.

Yet the Ypsilanti Burger King has a special place in Internet lore. You see, it is the Ypsilanti Burger King that is home to one of the original Darwin Awards. While the Ypsilanti Burger King story is not technically a Darwin Award, no one died, the story did receive an honorable Darwin Award mention in 1996. For you youngsters out there, that is ancient history in Internet years.

The Ypsilanti tale has grown to an almost mythic stature and it is retold hundreds of times a year in new blogs and email chain letters. Partly because the story is so believable, any one knows you can’t order onion rings on the breakfast menu, and partly because of the unique name of the town, Ypsilanti.

So what exactly is the tale. Well fellow tatts, the story goes like this:

The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 7:50 am, flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn’t open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren’t available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

The Tattler enjoys the Historic Marker outside of her home on the Water Tower. Perhaps the locals can put down the knives and come up with a similar marker for the Burger King.

Passing American Flag in Parade

The Tattler had been up north for most of spring. Mackinac Island is beautiful this time of year and with no tourists she had the island mostly to herself. The Tatt got in last night so she could attend the Ypsilanti Memorial Day parade and the official kick off of summer.

Remember last 4th of July, the Tattler wondered why the Ypsilanti High School Marching band didn’t have a U.S. or State of Michigan Flag at the front of the band.

Dang it if once again Ypsilanti High, Lincoln High and East Middle School did not have a U.S. flag. Are they ashamed to carry a U.S. Flag in the Memorial Day Parade?

This is the third time these schools have refused to carry a U.S. Flag in the parade.

Ypsilanti’s West Middle School was the only band to have a U.S. Flag. Good for them, the Tatt will be sending over a donation to help support the band and music program.

Several years ago, an Ypsilanti Attorney bought the Ypsilanti High School band a U.S. Flag and then Michigan Senator Alma Wheeler Smith donated a State of Michigan Flag as well. The High School carried the flags in one parade and then they disappeared.

We are remembering our veterans and military on Memorial Day. The least the schools could do is carry a flag in the parade.

It is time for Tattlers to take action and let’s make sure that all of the bands have U.S. Flags for the 4th of July Parade. Hey if the Tatt was Oprah, we could get 1,000’s of callers, but we can make a difference with just two. Here is who you can call.

Lincoln High School Principal Derrick Coleman (734)-484-7060 dcoleman@gw.lincoln.k12.mi.us
Ypsilanti High School Principal Jonathan Brown (734) 714-1002 brown@ypsd.org
East Middle School Principal Candice Churchwell (734) 714-1400 churchwe@ypsd.org

Ypsilanti School Superintendent Jim Hawkins (734) 714-1218 hawkins@ypsd.org
Director of Public Relations Emma Jackson (734) 714-1202 ejackson@ypsd.org

And please call Principal Monica Merritt (734) 714-1300 mmerrit2@ypsd.org at West Middle School to thank her and the entire band for proudly carrying a U.S. Flag in this years Memorial Day Parade.

It was Ypsilanti’s worst kept secret. On Friday, the Governor flew into town and made a surprise visit to Ypsilanti to present the City with a check for $500,000 to fix up the Freight House and get it ready for the new rail service.

The Tattler wandered down to the freight house on Friday morning to rub feathers with the governess. The Tatt was fully expecting the building to collapse when the nearly 200 well wishers rushed out onto the floor to greet the governor.

After all, when the East Side Neighborhood Association wanted to meet in the Freight House Cafe last week, they were told by the City the building was unsafe and they could not meet there.

Never mind the building had been opened during Heritage Festival for the last three years as 1,000’s of people walked through the cafe to see old pictures.

The building was unsafe and couldn’t be used for any neighborhood meetings. Period.

The Tatt was a little surprised at how poorly prepared the Governor’s advanced detail team was for the visit. There were no ambulances waiting outside, the hospitals hadn’t been put on alert, and there were no search and rescue teams waiting to go in when the walls and floor collapsed.

In fact, all the governor had was a driver and one guard. She didn’t even get an escort by the Ypsilanti Police.

Apparently, if you want to have a meeting in the Freight House, bring a check. To use the main room with no heat, well that is $500,000. To use the cafe, that will cost you $50,000.

There you go east side tattlers, write a check for $50,000 and you can have your neighborhood meeting.

Governor makes decision for Ypsilanti
Train Platform to be on West Side of Tracks

While the French’s have been going to war over which side of the track the proposed train platform would be located, Governor Granholm announced at her news conference the new Ypsilanti train station for the Ann Arbor to Detroit rail service would be located at the Freight House.

Well that made that decision easy. Next?

The Tattler dug through old newspapers last night and found this story from the Ypsilanti Courier from January 20, 2004.

Freighthouse to reopen

By Kathleen Conat
Courier Correspondent

The Friends of the Ypsilanti Freighthouse are celebrating. They’ve been given the keys to the Freighthouse, have insurance for the building and a lot of creative and hardworking people are now ready to pitch in and get it ready for reopening.

Assistant City Manager Robert Bruner turned over the keys and alarm codes to access the building, saying, “I feel this is a really positive step. While there is still work to be done in order to reopen the building for public use, this is an important milestone. < … snip … >

Chase said the Friends estimate they need $65,000 to pay for the necessary repairs, unless local contractors want to volunteer their help. In other (sic) to raise the money, the Friends are planning fund-raisers for the near future.

Former Assistant to the City Manager Bob Bruner returned to the scene of the crime on Friday to schmooze with Ypsi’s glitterati and look at all his good works. Bob was joined by 100’s of little people, none of whom weighed over 68 pounds. Fire Marshall Jon Ichesco, who used to work for Northwest Airlines, had implemented a strict weight limit for each guest over fears the floor would collapse.

Missing from the event was embattled DDA Director Brian Vosberg. City Hall was closed for Good Friday and Vosburg already had plans for an Easter Egg hunt down in Detroit. Vosburg couldn’t be bothered with the Governor visiting his DDA district, after all, how would he record the time on his time sheet?

The Freight House looked remarkably the same as it did in 2004 when Bruner shut down the Freight House because the building was unsafe for human occupancy. Five years later and having spent over $100,000, the building is still closed and according to the City still unsafe.

Well, it is apparently safe enough for the Governor, but six people from Depot Town want to meet there, no way.

The Obama stimulus money is going to make the building safe and will finally get the Freight House doors reopened. Maybe.

Where’s the bathroom?

The Governor brought a cartoon check for $500,000 and the Ann Arbor Community Foundation sent over another check for $103,000 last week.

The Friends wanted the Mayor to sign over the check right then and there but the Mayor said he left his pen in his other jacket. Besides it was Good Friday, the banks were closed.

Five years later, the Freight House is still closed and instead of costing $65,000 to re-open as predicted in 2004, the Friends are now saying it will cost an additional $1.5 million.

The Tatt thinks they sort of forgot to tell the governor that small detail.

It is unclear if the $603,000 received in the last 30 days is even enough to re-open the doors much less get it ready to receive passengers from the train service that will start next year.

Even with the $603K, the current plan has no money to build a bathroom. But the solar roof and rain gardens will be spiffy.

Passengers may have to go around to the back of the building to relieve themselves, like they did 100 years ago.

Governor, thanks for stopping by, next time you are in town, drop by the Water Tower and we BoFs can sit on the perch and look out over all your good works.

Oh, and when you come back, can you bring us a port-a-potty for the Freight House, we are going to need it.

The Tattler has been up in the coop on the Water Tower since the early 70’s and no one has paid much attention. So it is with great fascination as the Tatt watches the City sue Ypsilanti’s very own Birdman of Alcatraz Peter Thomason over his chickens.

The Tatt would like to remind the anti-feather crowd; Pigeons are legal in Ypsilanti under Michigan State law.

The city cannot pass any laws which restrict or outlaw pigeon coops. The city can regulate the pigeon coop to make sure that it adheres to local building codes, but that’s it.

If you can have 40 pigeons in the city, why not have 40 chickens?

Think of it as today’s version of 40 acres and a mule.

The City’s motto is Pride, Diversity, and Heritage. Having birds is diversity too and when it comes to heritage, has anyone actually read the plaque at the bottom of the Water Tower. It was paid for in part by a tax on cows in the city.

After numerous complaints about ordinance enforcement, the city attorney told the city council last year the city cannot peer over a privacy fence to determine if someone is violating an ordinance without a warrant.

So the Tatt’s advice to the Ypsi Birdman is call them pigeons, put up a 6 foot high fence all around your property, make sure you get a permit, and let sleeping dogs lie.

Ann Arbor News to close in July. The Tattler has been writing a lot about the ‘Snuz recently as they flop around like a dying fish on the boat deck.

Here are links to the story

Ann Arbor News to close in July Ann Arbor News
Letter from Ann Arbor News Publisher Laurel Champion Ann Arbor News
Ann Arbor News Closing Michigan Radio
Several Michigan newspapers going digital and downsizing Lansing State Journal

The Tattler doesn’t know why she keeps writing Ann Arbor News stories. People tell her things they wouldn’t tell their mother.

Besides Ed Petykiewicz leaving, the terrible Tattler has learned that Rick Fitzgerald is leaving as well.

Fitzy used to be the editor in Ypsilanti and then Livingston Community News. Rick is taking as job in media relations at U-M.

With the Ann Arbor News all but disappearing, the Tatt is wondering what media will be left to relate to.

The Tattler got a tweet. “Check out Google Streets. Is that you?”, the east side tatt asked.

Oh no, could the Tattler be exposed again?

This isn’t the first time the Tattler has been found out. A movie trade magazine outed the Tatt in 2008.

The Tatt remembers when the red Google van was in town last summer. The Ypsilanti Police pulled the Google van over and wanted to know what they were doing and did they have a permit. You can’t make this stuff up.

Flying Google streets, the Tatt wanted to see for herself.

It is true. The Tatt has been outed again, this time crossing the street. Thankfully, Google used their Google goggles and blurred the face, but the shoes fit, so the Tatt can’t acquit.

See if you can find where else they applied the Google blur filter. Strangely the A-frame sign at Roaches on Michigan Avenue is blurred but only one side, not the back side. The sign with the hours on the Episcopal Church on North Huron is looking a little fuzzy too.

View Larger Map

The car parked on the sidewalk near the Plasma center is a hoot and so is the woman talking on the cell phone in the black truck as she blasts up Cross. The best part was the reminder of $3.80 gas and $4.29 for diesel. Ouch.

Good thing this Tatt is worm powered. Hey, let’s be careful out there.

The Ypsilanti City Council this week banned the use of power equipment and power tools in city parks by volunteer groups.

Still reeling from sidewalk snow shovel headaches, the Mower Cycle is the solution offered by City Council to volunteers that want to mow the parks. City officials also said scissors would be acceptable too, as long as they didn’t have pointy tips.

The Tatt has learned former Mayor Cheryl Farmer is buying two Mower Cycles to fullfill her 2005 pledge to mow the parks herself if funding is cut for parks. Manufacturing will begin this spring at the former Ford/Visteon plant in Ypsilanti.

Resolution No. 2009-045, approving the Adopt-a-Park program

Tattlers from all over Ypsilanti have been looking for the mysterious Snow Warning letters. The reason no one could find the letters was because they were posted in violation of the County’s sign ordinance so a Sheriff’s prisoner work detail went door to door and collected all the letters. That is why no one has been able to find one.

But the Tatt got her own notice attached to the Water Tower door. Strange, they had to move the snow shovel to post the note. Good thing the Tatt had already cleared the sidewalk so the City Ordinance Officer Ron Monroe could get to the stairs. The Tatt can’t believe Ron walked all the way up to the top of the tower to leave the note. Now that is dedication.

Your techno Tattler is looking forward to a little Halo 3 tournament this weekend in Ypsilanti.

The Tatt was able to secure one of the coveted 600 spots at this weekends tournament held on EMU’s campus.

Lurkers can watch for free. All proceeds go to charity so come out and say hi. Your favorite feathered warrior will be wearing black.

Mlive says they are going to broadcast live from the event. The Tatt doesn’t believe it. Outside of the idiots at YpsiNews, the Tatt has never seen anyone video a meeting for longer than two hours.

The event starts at 2pm Friday and runs non-stop till 10am Sunday morning. There is a reason why Red Bull is a title sponsor for this 42-hours non-stop event, it is all about endurance. First prize in Halo 3, a cool $1,000. Game on.