The Tattler may have to start subscribing to the Toledo Free Press. This is too funny.
The worst part? I can’t make any goddamn EMU jokes for at least, like, a year. Matt Sussman
BGSU’s loss to EMU requires comic penance
Written by Matt Sussman
The real tragedy in having one’s heart embedded in a football team who loses to an inferior football team hurts way beyond the box score.
Case in point: Bowling Green invited fans and alumni on Oct. 4 to Doyt Perry Stadium for a rousing win against traditionally pathetic Eastern Michigan, only to pull back the curtain and reveal a 24-21 loss to EMU. It was a loss so shocking, I was waiting for the ghost of Allen Funt to appear on the JumboTron and ask the crowd to smile for “Candid Camera.”
Sure, losing a game when one’s team is favored by 20-something points is embarrassing, especially when penalties and poor execution killed the Falcons’ chances to put the game away time after time. But what hurts worse is what a joke spinner like myself is no longer allowed to say for the next calendar year. Remember all those extremely easy — and funny — Eastern Michigan jokes I conjured up? I can’t make those anymore. Therein lays the real loss.
Now the Eagles have a bit of confidence as the season progresses, and what if, heaven forbid, they are actually halfway competitive this year? The cosmic imbalance in the Mid-American Conference would be in dire need of a pulley system strong enough to right the ship. For if I — nay, nobody — has room to poke fun at the Eagles then one of the great traditions of college football will fall by the wayside.
The Ypsi Tattler 